a very human thing

"It’s a very human thing, I think, to be continually unimpressed by our own successes, to enjoy them for five minutes before we return to thinking about all the things we have yet to achieve, and I’m as guilty as anyone. But the greedy maw of my ambition can wait to be fed while I try my best to do some actual living beyond the frantic grasping at success that is all too common among those of my [generation]. [Here] is not a finish line. [There] is not a finish line. There is only one finish line in life, and when I think about it, I don’t really want to get there." -Beck

bullet in the brain

both a perk and a drawback of having an english undergrad background is that sometimes annoying ability to see a theme in everything.

a perk because it allows you to see themes and connections or to catch a glimpse of the "big picture" a bit more often and yet, a drawback because it's easy to fall in the rut of thinking that nothing is new. this can be dangerous.

to feel that every conversation, emotion, event, misunderstanding, fight, celebration - everything, is just a repeat of what has happened before can lead to disillusionment and detachment.

it's funny how hard it can sometimes be to live simply. to continue to live with the innocence, curiosity, and spirit of childhood balanced with the wisdom gained through experience and age.

i guess to say it another way: "bat your eyes girl," heed the warning and try not to catch a bullet in the brain.

incoherent

There's a bit too much going on right now and it's hard for me to process. Kudos to the few who can filter the world and themselves, what a skill to have!

Funny. For someone who's not a big fan of trinkets, a.k.a. (at least to me) clutter without function, I sure did have a painfully hard time letting go of items that belonged to a friend who passed away more than a year ago. The reasonable adult in me knows that these items in no way can take his place or bring him back but I couldn't help but feel like I was throwing him away.

This question has been asked plenty of times before but here I go asking it again: Is there such a thing as too honest? I know too well that there's such a thing as T.M.I. but I'm talking about a different type of honesty. I mean honest in a way where there is no guile left unturned, no motivation left unexplained, no ego not called out. Someone once called me "disarming" and said it was a good thing, not sure it is. Maybe people do better with a little bit of armor.

I know there was more I wanted to jot down but as I mentioned, there's a bit too much and it's hard for me to process.